Take 2

 All I want is peace, love, kindness, ... happiness and friendship... including with my family especially, but if anybody doesn't want this, that's their prerogative. We will abide as "strangers". 

When I started my ministry I just sent out random CD's announcing my purpose etc, Like anything you get in the mail, you can keep it and enjoy it, or toss it. I 've never seen such an outrageous , elaborate, angry reaction as this from a guy named Bob. 

ANd I still haven't read them. I didn't need to read a single word to know it's all anger and rage- nothing you want to have floating in your heart or mind. Like he decided to vent ALL his pent up bitterness towards me. Like the guy who kicks his dog at the end of the day because he's mad at the world. THe dog didn't do anything wrong. 

 i never read these, still haven't, but with a glance I sensed they are filled with anger, maybe even hate. I didn't know what to do or say, because I have done nothing to deserve such rage and anger .. they were put in a back box and forgotten about for many years... i think they are from 2006 .. now it is 2024 .. and I was cleaning out old files and came across them-- managed to avert my eyes from the words intending to cause hurt and pain. This is from a couple named Bob and Cindy- the writer at a glance is Bob or Robert. I remember when he was in college and our family would have him over for Sunday dinner. I was probably ten years old at the time. He was maybe 19 or 20. He was (is) a relative. THe only thing I ever did that I can think of that evoked anger, but was actually intended to cause laughter was when I sent them some correspondence and called them "Robb & Sally" . Bob is maybe about 10 years older than me.  So maybe he thought this was being "disrespectful" to him as an "elder" , although being ten years older in my mind hardly qualifies him as an elder, nor even elderly in 2006. MORE to come. I think I will make this some sort of sermon illustration, even artwork . You can read it. I never will. 

We are only discussing, in general, the problem with missionary kids and military kids. And this is not to say that any and all of MK's are a problem in general or that they have problems. It is simply to say that these "American kids" who grow up in other countries, sometimes have no real ROOTS in their home country. Sometimes they feel more affection for the country in which they were born and/or raised, even if they periodically returned to America. Sometimes they even feel more comfortable speaking the language of the country(s) in which they were raised, rather than English itself. Upon returning home for "sabbatical" on a periodic basis, they are often treated like little celebrities (especially the missionary kids as the missionary family goes from church to church to raise support for their mission; showing photos of themselves with the African people, or whatever mission field they are working in, could be Asia, Central America, etc ). And they also never really get tested in the American schools in terms of athletics and the normal ups and downs & rites of passage of American childhood. Sure, they still go to schools in their mission country; often elite schools for American families; and they take many of the same courses you might have in the USA schools; but they don't have the full, normal experience of american childhood. And then suddenly it's time for college and it's almost like they drop in like an alien by parachute with no history attached.  Kind of like the way Obama himself arrived in America - and into the Whitehouse. it was almost as if he was from somewhere else. 

Growing up in America, especially the continental USA itself, is more of a test of one's mettle. I had cousins who were military kids- and grew up in various countries, as well as periodically in various USA states. 

Then after dad had retired or they had grown up, they came back to live in Grand Rapids; but they had no history here/there. It was awkward. THey could be critical of everybody and everything without anybody being able to criticize them because we knew nothing of their true history, except what they self-report: how did they do in school ? We don't know beside that they graduated. How did they do in sports ? We don't know, unless they decide to tell us, and possible create fiction, like a fish story. Did they ever get in trouble ?  Bad habits ? No way to know, unless we observe them emerge over time now that they are here to stay. 

MK's have a LOT to OFFER from what they've experienced and learned out in the mission or military field, but too often they decide to return to the country where they are "from" but didn't grow up in and become armchair quarterbacks of it, and of us.

 One of my cousin's (a military kid) could not take any criticism at all. He wasn't used to being disciplined or judged. He could only dish it out. They are used to being celebrities of sorts. And with missionary kids there is often the added fiction of having "roughed it" in Africa or wherever.

 When I first visited a missionary family in Dominican Republic I was actually astonished as to how nice they actually had it. And I visited several missionary families in various countries since then. All of them lived in very nice spacious homes, and the kids were able to attend nice private schools. And there was access to resorts, etc. The myth of missionaries "roughing it" has always added to their celebrity status; but that's all it is in many cases: a myth.